ere in Minnesota, masculinity is often associated with being a good hunter and athlete. Hunting and recreation are good, as long as they don’t get out of balance with our other responsibilities as men. Masculinity is also sometimes associated with activities that are just plain sinful, like swearing, getting drunk, or acting on one’s sexual desires outside of marriage or in a selfish way. Or masculinity can be associated with attitudes that can stunt spiritual growth, like thinking that responding and singing at Mass is just for women. But what is God’s view of masculinity? We can learn from Jesus, who is the only perfect man. I would like to suggest four ways in which Jesus is a “real man” and can be an example for us.
Jesus teaches the faith. He knows it’s his job to make God and his love and will known. It’s the same for us men. It’s up to us to share our faith with our wives, children, buddies and co-workers. We should do this by how we live our lives and what we say. Of course, to teach the faith, we must make the effort to get to know it and try to live it better by a regular program of spiritual improvement.
Do you want to be a real man? Then be like Jesus. Teach the faith, be courageous, pray, and be willing to suffer.
Jesus is courageous. He’s not afraid of what other people think of him. He does what he knows is best even when people criticize him, make fun of him, call him names, laugh at him and threaten him. God wants us to be courageous like Jesus in how we live and teach the faith.
Jesus prays. He spends long hours in prayer with his Heavenly Father. He knows he needs these deep and frequent conversations with God the Father to keep going in the face of temptations, criticism and threats. We need this conversation with God, too. And we need to model prayer for our families and other people, whether we are at home, at work or at play.
Jesus is willing to suffer. He knows that to really love means to suffer. That’s why he is willing to be spat on, whipped and nailed to the cross for us all. It’s easy to say “I love you” (for some of us, anyway) or to think we are showing it by being a good provider, spending time together, or buying gifts. But real love means doing what’s best for the other person. And sometimes that means the suffering of not getting your own way, or giving up something you want (like sex or approval). Suffering can mean manfully putting up with losing out, criticism or laughter when you live and speak the truth.